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30

Mar

Now and Forever

A little girl at work was crying the other day.  When I asked what was wrong, she said she misses her mommy and daddy and my heart just sank. I know her parents are having marital issues but when you see how it affects the children, it all becomes so real.

Sometimes I wonder if I was one of the lucky ones because I came from a single parent home.  My mother never argued with my father.  I never experienced the pain of having had both parents, then one parent.  I never had to witness mommy and daddy slowing growing out of touch with each other.

So, what does this mean for my future?  I want to be married and have children, in that order, and then stay married forever.  But what does that “married forever” really look like?  What goes on in between the now and forever part that makes it work or not work?

I’m staying with some married friends now and I tell you, it does not look easy.  It certainly doesn’t look like what you see in the movies.  This life isn’t a movie.

Art does imitate life, but it’s also written to be exact.  Two hours cannot encompass 89 years.  One hundred and eighty-nine pages cannot explain 89 years.  Three minutes and thirty seconds cannotdescribe 89 years.   Seventy-five by one hundred and five inches of canvas cannot embody 89 years.

They can give snippets, bursts, or glimpses into the life, but they are just not capable of showing the entire life.  Even autobiographical pieces have no way of accomplishing that great feat.

The only way to see a lifespan is to have lived your life.

My life is not that of my parents, my favorite movie, song, or painting, it is mine and mine alone.  I don’t know what the future will bring, but I can live and enjoy each moment because I can never get them back.

Maybe I won’t have a “traditional” family, maybe I will.  Either way, the life I live will be mine with no regrets.